Thanksgiving 2018

It's Thanksgiving, again. If you know me, I am not a fan of this holiday. I have always believed and felt that thankfulness should be practiced daily. I was home most of the day I didn't make any grand plans to be with family. My mom and the baby were both sickly so I definitely didn't want to catch whatever crud they were dealing with. I could have gone over to Cindy's for dinner with the whole clan but I just didn't feel like putting on a fake happy face. 
I was reflecting internally on why I feel the way I do about today. I honestly cannot remember the last Thanksgiving that really made me over the moon happy. Maybe 2011 if I had to guess. I can appreciate that the point of this holiday is to be around family, those near and far and to share a meal and catch up on each others' lives. Now that I am a single mom of one, my family is quite small. I didn't have plans to go our and about but a friend of mine asked me to go by her house and check on her dogs and Grant wanted to brace GameStop for a discounted game. So, we got in the car and took a little drive. I noticed houses along the way that had several cars parked on the street or  parked in the yards and wondered if one day, that might be my house in the future. I suppose that's what makes me a little sad on Thanksgiving. I don't have a huge family to invite over, cook for, laugh with, debate with, watch football with, share stories with, I can only pray that one day I will and if I don't, I will have to figure out something else to do besides feel sorry for myself, lol. 

When we were in the car today, Grant said, "Four years ago, I was with Daddy and we went to eat at Logans and then we went shopping at Toys R Us, and he lost his wallet and we were both freaking out". I didn't really say anything other thatn, "I am sorry your dad isn't here today to spend the day with you." 

I had made some crockpot chicken and rice soup yesterday and fropped off a big bowl of it to my mom, visited with her and Genni for about 45 min and then we came home. I put a small ham in the crockpot and made crescent rolls and that was our dinner. It's not all terrible, tomorrow evening I am going to participate in my first "Friendsgiving" and hang out with my girlfriends and play silly games. So that's the bright side. 


Don't get me wrong, I am thankful. When I think about how bad it COULD be, it's better that I am in this phase of life and I could have it so much worse. Reminds me of something I read a few years ago, "If we all put our own problems in a pile, we would pick ours back up and be grateful". 

So, the day is almost over. The only Black Friday, I plan to do is go to Lowes and see about getting a new dishwasher! Yay Me! OHH! and possible a new t.v. The one I have in bedroom has decided to not produce volume. It is four years old and not the greatest of brands and technically, I didn't pay for it so when I trash it, I won't feel bad. 

~loveyameanit~