A day late.....

Friday Follow Up #2 Sunday is always busy. It used to not be. That was until last July when I enrolled G into drum lessons. Those lessons are now on Sundays at 3:30pm on the dot. I'm up at 7am to get dressed and ready for church, out the door by 9am, pick up Punky at mom's and head to church This week, I took Geni for the day so my mom could catch up on sleep, get some cleaning done and go to the grocery store without distraction. I reveled in those days when Grant was little and I could escape and peruse the aisles endlessly until I felt prepared enough to return home. We left to head to lessons and while G was at lessons, I hurriedly went to Macy's to look and try to find a new purse. No luck! After lessons, I dropped Grant st home, took Geni back to my mom, and went to the Dollar store to grab a few things. I realized before walking in that I left my wallet in her diaper bag, so I trapsed back to get my wallet. I think i was home by 6pm and I was spent! I just wanted to sit down and not do one more thing for anyone, lol. Monday cane quick and I had it in my head to REALLY get all the Christmas decor out away. No such luck. Grant called me from the bus to say he forgot his lunch EVEN after I reminded him to make sure he got it. I ended up getting the dishes from the weekend loaded into dishwasher, pitting in some laundry, folding towels and whites, and ran to school to deliver a lunch box. That was his free pass for the year. I went to Wal mart to see about ordering new contacts but my RX is expired. Therefore, I need to make an eye Dr. appt to get an exam and new script. It's been raining here and dreadfully cold. I picked up just the necessities and stopped off at mom's to deliver toilet paper and puffs pet request. Cane home and finished folding laundry and made dinner for G. We have an evening ritual of watching Jeopardy together and other mutually agreed upon t.v. I decided Sort a last minute to join some people in Smyrna to watch the GA vs. AL game. I'm trying to branch out and go out of my comfort zone to meet other people other than those who I'm close to. It was fun and intense because the game was a nail biter. I got home later than I wanted and ended up falling asleep in the recliner. I only got about 3 hours of sleep because the pupster, Odie, had a grooming appointment at 7am. What was I thinking?? I had to be yo anyway in time to make an 8am Dr. appt. Blood work, med check, etc.... By the time I was done with that, Odie was done. Scooped him up, came home to eat breakfast, take a shower and dozed on & off until noon. My "nephew" who will be 2 next month is visiting grandma ( Melody-my sister from another mister) and I agreed to watch him while she worked. He got here around 1pm and we watched Netflix and I got him to take a late nap @ 4pm. Grant got home from school, I made dinner and played with Chrstipher. Put him in the tub and watched him play. Waiting on Melody to come from work to get him. Grant is good with litttles, but he is not ready to be one on one with them for extended periods of time I guess that's just how teen boys are. They see toddlers as annoying for the most part. Melody arrived and we all hung out for a bit. I headed to my cold sheets and down comforter and finally exhaled and was gone in seconds. Thursday, I decided to go and get my nails done. It's the one thing I'm committed to when it comes to self care. Besides, if I didn't have these pretty nails, they would be destroyed because I'm a horrible nail biter. I picked up some lunch at Panera and cane home to wait for Christopher. We played and watched Zootopia for the third time and his parents picked him right in time for me to head out for dinner with my friends. There was no school on Friday so the G and I basically stayed in and did nothing. We are so boring on snow days, Lol!

Friday Follow Up #1

It's the first Friday of 2018 y'all! Did you have anything exciting happen?
Meh....me neither.
Grant and I spent New Years at home ALL DAY!
It was nice though to just chill and hang out. It's bitter cold here so spending time outdoors is on the short list of things we are NOT doing.
Tuesday, we rode shot-gun with Grammy to go run an errand and ended up grabbing lunch at Cracker Barrel.
I was misinformed about when G was to go back to school. I thought it was Thursday the 4th but it was actually Wednesday the 5th. He was not too happy about it but such is life.
I had a terrible time going to sleep Tuesday night and I think i fell asleep around 2am. Grant overslept....lovely....but he managed to scramble and get to the bus on time. I headed over to Mom's to watch Punky while she went out for a bit. We played hard and I love spending time with her. Her hugs and her giggled just have a way of bringing me so much joy.
I went to Melody for lunch because she had a 2 hour break between shifts at the airport. It was good to catch up and have some girl time. I had to run by McKendree and drop off payment for William and check in on him.
On Thursday, there was a 2 hour delay for school and Grant woke me up at 7:15am asking me what time he should get ready for school....really, dude?...go back to sleep for awhile lol
I spent the day trying to catch up on some housekeeping and going through mail. I'm terrible at checking my mail. Most of its trash anyway right?
Today, I went to church to take down the Christmas tree and decorations. Came home and began a search for a document that I know I have but haven't seen it in four years. Sometimes, I get frustrated with myself because when I go to look for something, I can place it in my head but for the life of me, I can't physically locate it, ggrr... But the highlight of my search is I found my teeth whitening molds that I thought might have fell in the trash. I know, exciting huh? TMI perhaps?
So week one of 2018 is in the books!

Coming out of the Dark

Welcome to my new blog. Life at 524! It's not a catchy title but a year ago, I wanted to start a new blog and never got around to it but the title was suggested by a close friend of mine. 

I have another blog that I've had forever but I wanted a fresh start considering it is a brand new year. I wanted to write something profound and thought provoking but nothing really came to me until I remembered an interview I watched on CBS Sunday Morning with the singer Gloria Estefan. If my memory serves me right, she was in a tour bus accident in the late 90's. She was hospitalized with an extensive back injury and had metal rods placed in her back. I only know that because I had metal rods in my back from scoliosis at age 11. Anyway, she left the music scene for quite sometime to recover from this difficult and almost debilitating accident. When she finally decided to make her comeback debut, she sang a song at the Grammys called, "Coming out of the Dark". 

It was just a few short days ago that it hit me, I'm coming out of the dark too. I am slowly seeing the tiny specks of light from the bottom of the deep well of grief and loss. For those that might not know me personally, I have had more experiences of loss and grief than most people I know. 

In a span of four years, I decided to end my marriage, struggled to keep my sanity, thought I was going to lose my house, witnessed the decline of my dads health, grappled with my own demons, checked myself into a psych hospital for six days because life was so unbearable and anxiety and depression was consuming every fiber of my being. I tried to rescue my estranged husband from killing himself with alcohol, moving him three times, stood by him when he had to have a left leg amputation from a severe fall, managed two households financially, watched my dad slip away in a hospital room, tended to the needs of an aging father-in-law who has no other family and ultimately, like I predicted would become a widow. Yep, talk about being in the dark. Very very dark. 

I don't write all that to get sympathy votes. I write so that if somehow someone comes across my blog, they can relate in a small way and maybe glean a bit of hope that there is and will be light again. 

Last year, 2017, was much better than I expected. It was not however, without some struggles or even a bit of sadness. I cam say that it was filled with much more love, joy, peace, and reflection. I had the chance of a lifetime and travelled to Paris, France. I will tell you that I'm so in love with everything Paris, especially the Eiffel Tower! Grant & I spent a lot of time at Nashville Shores. He entered the tumultuous teen years on July 1st. We threw a Minnie Mouse 1st birthday party for Punky (I'll tell you who she is in future posts). We took a vacation to Orange Beach, AL with PawPaw and Grammy and Punky..... . .thar was super fun and super stressful. I turned 40 and rented a pontoon boat to cruise around the lake with the people who have stood by me, through the good, the bad, & the ugly! I had to decide to put my father-in-law in a nursing home because he could no longer function without additional help & support. Grant & I went to Orlando and experienced The Wizarding World of Harry Potter and even though I believe he had fun, I realized a lot more how I'm way too old to do that on a singular basis. 

The Punky was gone from our family for ninety days and every day I prayed with desperation that God would return her to our little family. On November 6th, a Monday, when I was at Grants band concert, I got the message that the Punkster was coming back ho,e to my mom and us. The last time I think I cried with overwhelming joy was when Grant was born. I solidly remember the expression on Grants face when I told him Pumky was coming home and I have pictures to capture those sweet and precious moments when Punky recognized her "Bubby". 

The holidays brought to us the peace, the quiet, and the reminder that love and family is so important and I am so blessed. 

So, coming out of the dark has been beyond hard, more challenging and difficult than I ever thought but as 2018 has arrived, I cling to the fact that I see the light, a shimmering spectacle of hope that I will be ok and that the plans I know God has for me are far greater than I could ever hope for. 

If you're in the darkness and you feel or think that there will never be light, I need you to know that it's there. Reach out to those who love you the most, when you think you can't return from the darkness, plead to God that you need Him and to reveal to you who will understand. It might even be me because I've been there, I know it and I understand. 

Cheers to 2018 and coming out of the dark.